Their Last Suppers: Legends of History and Their Final Meals Page 17

  Cook was received in England by King George III as a national hero on July 30, 1775, after another 3 long years at sea. Cook’s enthusiasm at being reunited with his wife immediately led to another pregnancy for her and the birth of his fifth son, Hugh, who was born on May 25, 1977. But only 10 months after his return, Cook was already provisioning the ships Resolution and Discovery for his last great voyage, which began on July 12, 1776, only 18 days after Hugh’s birth.

  The mission was to find the fabled Northwest Passage that would supposedly open up the entire American continent. Sailing down the coast of Africa, he rounded the Cape of Good Hope, crossed the Indian Ocean, and bypassed New Zealand, Tasmania, and the Friendly Islands, where the not-so-friendly natives tried to kill him as he put in for water.

  On January 18, 1778, he discovered a new chain of islands that he named the Sandwich Islands after one of his sponsors, the Earl of Sandwich. These were later renamed Hawaii.

  Continuing to Oregon still looking for the elusive passage, he now discovered the territory of Alaska and charted Anchorage Bay before heading into the Bering Straits, where he was turned back by heavy ice.

  Deciding to wait out the winter in the Pacific, he discovered the island of Maui, where his best officer, William Bligh (later to command the infamous Bounty), produced superb charts of the coastline. His charts were setting a standard for other navies to emulate.

  After another 2 months he decided to move on yet again and finally found a safe anchorage at Kealakekua Bay on the Kiona coast of the big island.

  For many of his years at sea fortune had always seemed to favor Cook, enabling him to record many achievements, and once again his fabled luck seemed to be in. As he entered the bay on January 16, 1779, the natives had just begun the Makahiki festival, a period of great feasting dedicated to the fertility god Lono.

  Sexual partners were usually exchanged and all rules were suspended as the smell of Hawaiian pit roasts and feasting hung over the bay for almost a month to celebrate the legend of the god Lono.

  The Hawaiians believed their god Lono, who was represented by a small wooden figure perched on a tall mastlike crossbeam on which were hung long white sheets of taro leaves, would one day return to them. Kealakekua Bay was the ancestral home of the god, and as Cook arrived with his ships and their tall masts and large sails, who else could be arriving but Lono himself?

  Captain Cook and his crew were treated like gods for nearly a month; the ships were fully provisioned with timber, wild pigs, and the freshest fruits and vegetables. The native women threw themselves at the sailors, many of whom had not seen a woman for years.

  The Hawaiians had no interest in gold or beads; the islanders coveted only nails and other simple metal objects. Women gave themselves to the sailors for any simple piece of metal.

  Cook further enhanced his god status by amazing the natives with a firework display. It both shocked and terrified the Hawaiians, who had no concept of gunpowder and were overawed by the powers of these strangers.

  However, Cook’s luck was beginning to change. With little warning one of his crew, William Watman, died of a stroke, showing the superstitious natives that maybe these were only mortal men after all.

  As relations rapidly became strained, Cook and his crew got the message that their time was up and sailed away on February 4, 1779, straight into the mouth of a fearsome Pacific storm.

  After fighting heavy seas for more than a week, the battered ships were forced to return to Kealakekua Bay, which, with the end of the festival, they found deserted except for a few fishers. Word soon got around that the god Lono had been battered in his own domain, and the natives flocked to the bay to see the Englishmen struggle to repair their tattered vessels.

  James Cook then made one of his few mistakes. Reacting to the theft of one of his small boats by some islanders, he sought to take King Kalaniopau hostage in exchange for the return of his cutter. This infuriated the Hawaiians, who had already given him everything they had, from women to food, receiving in return only a few nails, a violin, and sexually transmitted diseases.

  As the king sat on the beach, encouraged by his wife not to trust these “haoles,” his warriors got more and more enraged. Then word came that some marines had shot and killed a lesser chief, Nookemai, for attempting to leave the bay in a canoe.

  This was the last straw. One warrior advanced on Cook and struck him with his heavy wooden club. Cook fell. “Lono” was mortal. Immediately the marines with him were attacked, and although they tried to fire volleys, they were slowly forced to retreat to their boats, leaving Cook knee deep in water, facing the native charge alone, with the bodies of four marines floating around him. The soldiers flung themselves into the ocean and swam for their lives to the boats waiting offshore. Cook could not follow his soldiers to safety because, like his sons before, he couldn’t swim.

  The natives stripped the dead captain but refrained from eating him, as was their normal custom. Later they returned some of his bones and both hands, preserved in salt, to the shaken crews of his ships.

  His remains were put in a coffin. With great fanfare, his grieving crew buried James Cook in the waters of the bay on February 21, 1779.

  MENUS

  When King Kamehameha III had a banquet for 10,000 of his subjects in true Hawaiian style in 1847, they cooked for more than 12,000—and ate it all.

  Some of the Items Consumed

  271 Hogs

  482 Calabashes of Poi

  602 Chickens

  12 Oxen

  Salt Pork

  12 Barrels of Lai Lai

  Cabbages, Onions

  Bananas, Pineapples, Coconuts, Oranges, Limes, Grapes

  4,000 Heads of Taro

  180 Large Squid

  When Cook arrived in Kealakekua Bay, the festival that greeted him went on for almost a month.

  Some of the Dishes Presented to Cook

  Kalua pig can be prepared with either a whole pig (any size) or a smaller piece of pork roast. I enclose both recipes but strongly recommend the whole pig method for a large gathering.

  Kalua pig I

  1 whole pig

  banana leaves

  salt and pepper

  lemons

  garlic

  The night before, dig a pit in the ground away from any building to a depth of about 2 feet.

  Find lava rock or large porous rocks about 1-2 lb in weight and any cuts of hardwood (e.g., eucalyptus, oak).

  Put a layer of stones on the bottom of the pit and build a fire with the wood and some more rocks (for the pig cavity).

  After 4 to 5 hours the fire should be burned to ashes.

  Take the pig and rub hard inside and out with salt and pepper, lemons, and garlic.

  Using tongs take some of the red-hot rocks and place in the cavity of the pig, then tie the legs together.

  Rake the ashes from the fire and store in a heatproof tub.

  Cover the surface with banana leaves and lower the pig (preferably in a wire basket) onto the fire pit.

  Surround it with heavy-duty aluminum foil, cover with more banana leaves, then heap back the hot rocks and ashes over the pig. Cover completely; don’t leave any holes.

  Sprinkle with water and roast for about 5 more hours. Pork should be dropping off the bones by this time.

  Serve with Hawaiian poi and sea salt.

  Kalua pig II (8)

  6 lb pork butt roast

  5 cups water

  3 tsp liquid smoke

  ¼ cup Hawaiian rock salt

  Place pork in a roasting tray.

  Mix together liquid smoke, rock salt, and water. Pour over the pork. Cover with aluminum foil and cook at 400°F for 3 to 3 ½ hours.

  Remove pork from pan and shred.

  Serve with poi.

  Poi

  Poi is an extremely nutritious side dish made from the steamed and mashed taro plant.

  Peel the taro root, steam, and mash, adding a little water until it has a pudding-like texture.
Chill and serve within a day.

  Lobos Poke (8)

  3 lb fresh tuna or other firm fish

  1 finely chopped onion

  6 thinly sliced spring onions

  1 tbsp freshly grated ginger

  2 chili peppers (Hawaiian if possible), seeded and chopped

  1 tbsp sesame oil

  Hawaiian salt to taste

  2 tsp toasted sesame seeds

  Cut fish into cubes about 1 inch square and in a large bowl combine all the ingredients except for the sesame seeds.

  Chill for about 6 hours; sprinkle the sesame on top and serve.

  Chicken Long Rice (8)

  6 lb chicken thighs

  4 slices of crushed fresh ginger

  1 packet long rice

  6 minced green onions

  4 pinches rock salt

  Soak rice in water to soften.

  Put chicken in a large pot and cover with water and ginger. Bring to a boil. Simmer for 45 minutes to an hour, until the chicken meat falls off the bones.

  Strain the broth, throw out the bones, and put the chicken meat back in the broth.

  Add the long rice and simmer until the rice has absorbed about half the liquid in the pot.

  Serve garnished with green onions and rock salt.

  Haupia (Coconut Milk Dessert) (8)

  3 cans coconut

  5 cups milk

  ½ cup cornstarch

  ½ cup cane sugar

  Put aside ½ cup of the coconut.

  Heat milk gently and pour over the remaining coconut in a bowl and let stand for 45 minutes.

  Strain through a muslin cloth until all the liquid has gone through. Discard coconut.

  In a small pan blend the cornstarch and sugar; stir in the strained milk. Cook on low until it thickens, stirring constantly.

  Pour into a greased baking dish, sprinkle with remaining coconut, chill, cut, and serve.

  JOHN FRANKLIN CANDY

  Durango, Mexico

  March 4, 1994

  I think I became an actor to hide from myself.

  —John Candy

  One of the most beloved comics of our times, John Candy played the lovable, big-hearted buffoon in numerous movies in the 1980s and 1990s. Born in Toronto, Canada, on October 31, 1950, he rose to fame (after an average scholastic career that included studying for a journalism degree) as a member of the Toronto branch of the cult series Second City Television at the age of 27. He found a passion for acting while attending a local community college, which quickly led him to bit parts on various Canadian TV shows where talent, not looks, was the main requisite for employment.

  John was overweight even as a child and received early warnings of future health problems because both his grandfather and his father died of heart attacks at an early age. His father, Sidney, died at the young age of 35, leaving his 5-year-old son to hide his grief with food, and later humor.

  Second City Television became such an instant success that the NBC television network picked it up in 1981. John quickly brought his fantastic mimicry talents to the attention of Hollywood with a host of brilliant impersonations of people such as Orson Welles, Richard Burton, Don Rickles, Jackie Gleason, Luciano Pavarotti, Tom Selleck, Ed Asner, and many others. He also created a group of hilarious characters such as the handsome but inept TV actor Steve Roman, the hapless children’s entertainer Mr. Messenger, smut merchant “Harry, the guy with a snake on his face,” and his most popular, the unscrupulous street-beat TV personality Johnny LaRue. So popular did he become that many of his previously ignored Canadian films such as The Clown Murders became hot properties on the video circuit, ensuring the fledgling star a steady income.

  His acting career took off in the early 1980s with appearances in movies such as Splash, Stripes, Going Berserk, National Lampoon’s Vacation, and The Blues Brothers. John delivered a particularly great performance as Del Griffith in the comedy Planes, Trains and Automobiles and then popped up in a cameo on Ray Parker Jr.’s “Ghostbusters” video. His face was everywhere, and one of his main attributes was that he always appeared to be a regular guy, seemingly comfortable with his ballooning weight, which actually made him stand out alongside the slim, chiseled Hollywood stars he played alongside. His range of talent was such that he could make people laugh with a lift of an eyebrow. John never cared about being the headliner, often playing bit parts that didn’t really do his talent justice and preferring to work with his close friends such as Rick Moranis.

  In the late 1980s his weight gain became a cause of real concern to his friends and his wife, Rosemary, who had a boy named Christopher and a daughter named Jennifer with him. In the early 1990s he was almost unrecognizable from the man of only a decade earlier. At 6 feet 2 inches tall and always over 300 pounds, he was a big man in every way.

  Never forgetting his Canadian roots, he used his movie money to become an owner of the Canadian Argonauts football team with Bruce McNall and hockey legend Wayne Gretzky. He never had a bad word to say about anyone and was loved by the public, who quickly realized that this big shambling bear of a man was in real life pretty much the character they loved on screen. Although he had made his name as a comic, as the 1980s waned he turned to play more serious roles, showing he was more than a one-trick pony. In 1991 he appeared in a romance called Only the Lonely, and later that year he excelled as a shady southern lawyer in Oliver Stone’s JFK. Although his career often suffered dry spells, John never moped and always bounced back from any setback with the same good humor and grace he showed on screen. Even in the smallest roles he continued to show his genius, performing the voice of a talking horse in Hot to Trot, a weird disc jockey in Little Shop of Horrors, and a state trooper in the Sesame Street film Follow That Bird.

  There was something so naturally funny about seeing him crammed into a police uniform that he was assigned that role in more than ten movies. He then hit a rocky patch with a string of commercial flops such as Nothing but Trouble, Once upon a Crime, and Rookie of the Year. When he saw that he was not doing himself justice, he descended into a downward spiral of excessive eating, drinking, and smoking. With his weight heading toward 350 pounds, and becoming increasingly aware of his genetic heritage, John tried to stop smoking and control his size, but this larger-than-life man had a larger-than-life appetite, and he found himself shedding a few pounds only to see them come back with interest.

  He gave his greatest performance as a disgraced Olympic star in Cool Runnings, which seemed to point to a new path for him. With this upsurge in his career, John headed to Durango, Mexico, to film Wagons East, a movie that he had told his family would be his last because he’d spent only 3 weeks with them in the previous year. However, he also told Maureen O’Hara that he dreaded going there because the heat would kill him. Located about 100 miles northwest of Mexico City, with a constant temperature of well over 90°F, this location was not well suited to John. Staying in a room at the Camino Del Perque resort and paying some $3,000 a month, John vowed to get healthier and even brought his own chef with him, but the chef cooked more double cheeseburgers than salads, and nothing really changed. His troubles increased when the crew could not find a horse to carry him, and much of the movie became a series of body shots with a lighter actor filling in for him.

  On March 3, 1994, John shot a series of exhausting action shots in the oppressive heat, with the shoot wrapping up about 10 p.m. John retired to his room and ordered a spaghetti meal, safe in the knowledge that with only two more scenes he could wrap up his final movie and be with his family forever. He ate his meal alone, then told his bodyguard, Gustavo Populus, that he would take a shower and go to bed. The next morning around 8 a.m., Populus called the villa, but there was no reply, and 15 minutes later he let himself in, finding his employer dead in a long black and red nightshirt. There were no signs of drugs, alcohol, or foul play, and the doctor quickly declared it “death from a massive heart attack.” His wife mysteriously objected to any autopsy, and his body remained in the bed until 4 p.m
., when they found four men strong enough to carry him to the ambulance.

  He was buried on March 9 at St. Martin’s Church in Brentwood, California, interestingly also Nicole Brown Simpson’s church. Good friend Dan Aykroyd delivered the eulogy along with Rick Moranis, Bill Murray, Martin Short, Rhea Perlman, and a host of his peers. He was finally interred at the Holy Cross Cemetery in Culver City, two spaces above Fred MacMurray.

  MENU

  Mexican Spaghetti (4)

  12 oz extra lean beef or turkey

  1 finely chopped onion

  1 cup chunky salsa

  1 cup canned corn

  ¼ cup water

  Salt and pepper, to taste

  8 oz regular spaghetti

  ½ cup grated Monterey Jack cheese

  Cook beef and onion in large skillet, stirring frequently until brown. Stir in salsa, corn, water, and salt and pepper; cook until thickened.